


Grey

by SoundAndSoundwaves



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, I'm so sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, hinata always dies so I decided to turn the tables
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 13:16:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1900320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoundAndSoundwaves/pseuds/SoundAndSoundwaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata is not used to the silence and the colourlessness. His world has always been loud sounds and bright colours, and he has embodied that in his actions and feelings. So to have all the colour sucked from his world so suddenly almost didn’t feel real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grey

Hinata is not used to the silence and the colourlessness. His world has always been loud sounds and bright colours, and he has embodied that in his actions and feelings. So to have all the colour sucked from his world so suddenly almost didn’t feel real.  
\---  
The squeak of shoes on the court is a sound so familiar that it almost soothed him. Of course, he couldn’t allow himself to get complacent; even as second years, they still needed to train hard.  
“Nice, Hinata!” Nishinoya called out to him as he dropped down from his spike, and Hinata shot him a bright grin.  
“Nice.” Kageyama nods his way as he goes to retrieve the ball.  
“That’s enough for today! Let’s get cleaned up!”  
\---  
Nothing feels quite right anymore. He doesn’t dream anymore. He can barely drag himself out of bed anymore. He doesn’t have any energy anymore.  
Looking in the mirror feels wrong. Where there should have been a mess of orange hair and big, tired brown eyes staring back, there is only a faded, unclear mass of grey, and he feels so, so cold.  
\---  
“Don’t shove it all in your mouth at once!” Kageyama’s voice is chastising, but Hinata swears he hears a note of fondness in it. Still, he stuffs his mouth with food, and Kageyama whacks him upside the head.  
\---  
He doesn’t go to volleyball practice anymore.  
He did try. Two months afterwards, they convinced him to come to practice. It was too much. He couldn’t breathe.  
Another two months later, they tried again. Kageyama’s toss was what made him great. Without it, he was just a mediocre player with quick reflexes. It didn’t feel right to play. He didn’t feel whole. It still hadn’t fully hit him, after four months of grey.  
\---  
“Hinata,” Kageyama starts, but stops speaking when Hinata turns to face him. This is where they part ways on their way home. Hinata giggles.  
“Stop making such a weird face!”  
“I’m not, dumbass!”  
“You are!”  
Kageyama pouts, then tries to say something – “I-“, but he stops again and his face twists further into a scowl.  
“It’s fine.” Hinata laughs. He stands on tiptoes and presses a kiss to Kageyama’s mouth. “It’s fine.”  
\---  
When it does hit him it’s all at once and it’s the first thing he’s felt in six months and it hurts, it’s so cold and it hurts, and he claws at his throat and arms and stomach and he throws up and he can’t stop crying and-  
\---  
Kageyama’s mouth tastes like fire and his fingers on the bare skin of Hinata’s chest burn. He thinks he’d gladly be incinerated if just to keep feeling like this.  
They make a gorgeous bonfire.  
\---  
Everything is slow, muffled, cold and grey. He never did like that colour.  
\---  
“I love you.”  
“I know.”  
“...”  
“...I love you too, idiot.”  
\---  
He sits in front of a grey stone and his lungs are icy.  
“’As long as I’m here, you’re invincible’, huh?”  
The grey is stifling him.  
“So what am I when you’re not here?”  
He doesn’t expect an answer.  
He wants to find an answer himself, but his mind is full of grey.  
He doesn’t want to see anymore grey.  
He closes his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 3am it's bad and I'm sorry.  
> I just realised most of you are probably American so you spell it like gray. Sorry for being British haha.


End file.
